Nice Guy Finishes Last

I watched a great show on TLC this evening, had to do with the science of choosing a mate. I want to boil down the key take aways:

* All things being equal, all of us would “end up” with someone we considered a 10.

* Hair, voice, smell, appearance, walking, etc all play into the model in our heads of a perfect mate.

* We understand our own attractiveness only when we see how popular we are with those we consider attractive.

* If you get the feeling you are a “10,” you can play the field until another 10 is interested in you.

So…in the real world, the vast majority of folks are not 10’s. We are 4s, 5s, and 6s. And someone may have an awesome physical presence, but when it comes to them being a good partner for raising a family, maybe their stock slides in our minds. So I have a new analogy for how most of us interact in dating and couping: I think the game of mating is like Settlers of Catan.  

Foir example, my settlements are deployed in such a way that I have an abundance of wheat. Maybe this is my hair or dashing personaility. But, I am lacking brick…maybe that is my lack of six pack abs or chiseled chest. In any case, in order to win the game or find a mate, I need to trade and adapt my strategies to find someone to bring balance to me so I have all the resources. I need to be willing to compromise in some areas of what I want in order to get the right combos of cards to build my cities.

So there you have….to win in Catan and win in mating you need to trade and compromise to get the traits and resoruces you want.

I tell ya, life just seems to keep getting busier and busier. It was not that long ago that I had most weekends free and could drop everything and do something on a whim. And I can still do that, but I find myself trying to plan the weekends to maximize my time with those I care about. And on the surface, I think that is good. I do believe than in order to maintain good relationships there needs to be effort from all parties to maintain connections.

The beauty of facebook and other social networking sites is that we can have “friends” on that site with little to no effort. And is that good or bad? Not necessarily either, but it’s just something different. I loved the people I went to high school with, had some awesome times and great friendships. But realistically, how many of them are still my friends? I think I can say 1 of them is my friend and the others are simply past contacts. Is that to say I wouldn’t want to see them again or would be unwilling to reconnect again? Not at all; I would love that. But when I define friendship in my own limited way, it substansially limits the people.

I worry sometimes that we (me too) fake it. Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, and even this website make us think we are more important than we are. But we aren’t. My opinion and thoughts are as valid as the next mans, but just because we can all write whatever is on our minds doesn’t mean anything at all. None of that matters, it’s all fluff and a way for us to occupy some time at work or leisure. I like to think my voluntering at the History Center is good. And it is good…it is a good thing. In comparison to those that donate time to a foodshelf or shelter, what I do is lame.

This is rambling but that’s ok. I just want to say to all of you and (me) we aren’t that good. But we should all try to be what we think we are supposed to be. But let’s not fake it. Be real with your friends and family; spend time with them and make sure they know they are important in your life. In your time with volunteerism and helping, do what you can and what you like but just be realistic with yourself in thinking about the type of work you are doing.

Here is a snapshot of my current decor. Optimus Prime will have a companion next to the TV in the coming weeks once more official images are released for Revenge of the Fallen. On the far right side next to Back to the Future, I have space for 1 or 2 more movie posters. My short list is…

X-Men or Wolverine

Star Trek Generations

Goldfinger, Goldeneye, Casino Royale

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Something with a hot chick in it?

What’s your vote or new idea?

I am sure that I have posted on this issue before but I need to give it another go based on this weekend. My friends are an amazing, amazing group of folks. This weekend work began getting my new place into shape for moving in. The place was not a disaster before, but it needed some work to make it into a true home. By my count I had 12 people helping me this weekend getting the place in order. That is amazing!! I didn’t deserve that much help, but I got it anyway. I cannot describe the happiness I had in seeing them help me and seemingly have a good time doing it as well. Thank you to Nick, Crystal, Jesse, Andrea, Megan, Ross, Elissa, Jon, Karli, Andy, Logan, and Rachel.

Distance from new place to my former roommate…

Here is a snapshot of where I am at right now…

* Closing on my new place is supposed to be today. It has been delayed a month and it sounds like we are 99% ready to go on this. If it does happen, it will be one less thing to worry about and I will finally be able to call it my own and start getting it ready for acually moving in. Expect to see some photos up on facebook and here soon.

* Brookdale Center is losing Macy’s. This is a big deal for that mall, all that is left for a large store is Barnes and Noble. That mall is officially dead and will need something drastic to breathe life into it. Check out my previous post for background on the mall.

* Transformers 2 has finally released some official material on the film. Below is the new teaser poster. It looks pretty good, this film is supposed to be involving more than 20 robots this time including a transformer that forms from combining other robots. Think Devastator from the original cartoon.

* The new Knight Rider on NBC is bringing back their most popular story arc from the original 1980’s TV show. In the original, KITT had a “prototype brother” named KARR. The new series brings him back as a transforming KARR than can become a robot. Each episode has gotten better, so I am thinking they will be brining Knight Rider back for a 2nd season.

This post is in response to the recent Star Tribune article about Brookdale Center and its current shell. I can’t link to the article since I think you may need to register to view it. Go to StarTribune.com and search for Brookdale Center. The piece is titled Brookdale: A ghost of its former self.

One of my web browsing activities is reading about dead malls. There are multiple sites out there that discuss this topic, but the basic idea is a strip mall or larger commercial mall that has lost occupants and is simply not as spectacular as it once was. The Twin Cities are blessed with a wide array of shopping areas, most notably the Mall of America in Bloomington. Back in the 70’s, the Twin Cities gave birth to 4 malls that residents know as the “Dales”: Ridgedale; Southdale; Rosedale, and Brookdale. All have awesome locations and are near major highways. I have visited all of them over the years, and I am certainly not an expert but I have my own personal scale of how I view them today:

1)      Rosedale: In my mind; the best of the 4 and where I shop the most. I am biased since I have lived and will live again in this area, but regardless of that; this mall is awesome. It helps that it is between the downtowns and central and in an area that seems to be growing in its upscale appearance. Tons of great stores and the new additions make this a vibrant place to be.

2)      Ridgedale: Solid location on 394/494 and certainly near some very nice homes in Wayzata and Minnetonka. A recent renovation of the interior has helped to improve the feel of this mall. I don’t see many empty stores here, if any.

3)      Southdale: I think this is the biggest mall of the group, and at one point in time was the largest indoor shopping center in the country. The knock recently has been the changing demographics of the Edina area. There are some very fancy restaurants and a movie theatre, but there are empty stores and there seems to be a negative feel in my recent trips.

4)      Brookdale: Clearly; the worst of the bunch. I have visited this mall the least and I am glad for that. There is only 1 true “anchor” store and that is Macy’s. The issue with this mall is the area next to it. Brooklyn Park and Brooklyn Center are not the greatest areas of the Twin Cities and the perception is that this mall is unsafe.

The Star Tribune article is notable for its look at the mall, but also I have find fascinating some of the comments on the article. This topic is ripe for discussion as you have some folks saying that they feel unsafe, have been harassed by the gangs, and have had items stolen. There are those who look at the mall as being way past its prime and should be demolished (ie Vikings Stadium), and then there are those who defend the area and bring up the issue of diversity/inclusion and how you don’t always have to be comfortable.

My take: I have never personally felt unsafe or been harassed at Brookdale Center, nor witnessed it, but I am inclined to believe it happens. I don’t think it should be demolished as there is a need for a shopping complex in that residential area. I think the important issue for the mall is maybe trying to do what Har-Mar mall has done the last few years. Har-Mar Mall was in decline for awhile as shoppers went to Rosedale or MOA. But the small complex has attracted some new tennants (Super Target next door; Staples) and has kept a solid mix of stories. (Barnes and Noble; Cub, Schuler, and Marshalls). Granted; Har-Mar benefits from a better location compared to the Brookdale; but the point is by getting and keeping some of the anchor stores, you can dramatically improve the overall feel of the mall.

The newer shopping structures in Maple Grove have taken a lot of business from Brookdale, but I still think it’s a great location for traffic and it shouldn’t be destroyed. Wal-Mart, Home Depot, and other retailers who want to get a foothold in that area could do well, and I think with more stores come more people and the gang related activities will decline.

What’s your take?

Last week was Thanksgiving; my favorite eating Holiday of the year. Turkey, pie, stuffing, corn, potatoes…that is a quality feast right there. For the 2nd time ever; I went out for Black Friday and did my part to bring economic growth back to this fine country. I bought 3 things this year:

1) Blu-Ray Player

Best Buy had a deal for the Samsung BD-P1500 priced at $200. This player is currently retailing for $300. The selling point for me was a good brand and HDMI capability. The Sony that was on special did not offer the HDMI output. It plays movies and hooked up like a champ to my new speaker system…

2) Speakers

Best Buy also had a $200 special on the Sony HT-C100. This retails currently for $300. I wanted a system that would not have a ton of wires and I didn’t want multiple speakers with the setup I was envisioning. This soundbar works great for my idea. It’s 3.1 channel, and it comes with a sweet subwoofer. The back of the sub has all kinds of slots but the best part is the 3 HDMI in’s and the 1 HDMI out. In effect; the sub serves as your receiver and you can connect a game system; Blu-Ray player; and other devices without the need for a cental receiver. For my purposes; this saves money and has the best connection available on the market. This thing delivers awesome sound, if you are looking for a smallish home theatre, I am thumbs up on this bad boy so far.

3) Transformers Blu-Ray

Freaking awesome in high definition. The sound and the picture were awesome and I got it for $10 on special. This is the kind of movie made to be shown with people around that will be blown away.

I liked my haul this year; I had saved $300 worth of gift cards up since last year and blew it all on the above purchases. Good times…

It is looking more and more like I may be a home owner in the very near future. The market has some sweet deals right now and I have been looking at foreclosed properties in the Roseville/Lauderdale/St. Paul area. I have tended to look more at a condo or townhome for the simple reason that I don’t feel as though I am ready or needing a full blown house yet. From my perspective; I could handle the work of a home but I feel it is an obligation better shared with your significant other down the road. Below are some pictures I took during the inspection:

It’s exciting but nothing is set in stone yet. The association documents still need to reviewed and there are some questions that arose during the inspection to review. More to come…

This is a continuation of the book Sacred Romance I am reading with Ross and Jesse.

Chapter 2 starts to discuss the author’s personal experience with finding the “Sacred Romance.” Basically; Curtis and Eldredge talk about their past and how in a setting of nature one of them found his inner peace. He mentions his boyhood home growing up and sitting on a beach/dock and realizing how “close” he felt to something greater. Beyond that, another example is going out on a double date with a married couple that was having problems with their marriage. When the author and his wife sat down while the other couple took a walk; a frank discussion was had and “hidden veils” were removed for that brief time looking into each other eyes.

Chapter 2 is still not meaty and is simply used for examples sake. I do think there is value in this chapter because we start to see what the authors are defining as “being at peace.” I am starting to relate to the example of moves and music. Your favorite movies and songs have segments that pull at different individuals; and those fleeting moments bring you closer to the Sacred Romance.

Chapter 3 is about “arrows.”  I wil admit I am not sure I have an accurate definition of what they are; but I know what is not an arrow. If the Romance represents hope and belonging; then the arrows represent self-doubt and loneliness. The arrows are the negative parts of life that are preventing you from trusting and believing in something greater. I think the arrows are a metaphor for lack of trust and not taking risks. The Romance is about taking a chance on a feeling, on a gut reaction to your happiest times. The arrow would be the part of you that always plays it safe.